He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
