hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
