So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
