You're completely useless in the revolution.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
