Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
