where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
