I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
