New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
