What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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