Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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