I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize