i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
