he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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