He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Let's get the cat blown out
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
