go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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