let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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