I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
