He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
