Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
