He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
