ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
