looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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