thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
