have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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