Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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