Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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