so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
