tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
