So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize