Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
