u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize