Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
