your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
