with your own penis?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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