I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dear god my vagina.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
