Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
