You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
