your thong is hanging out like whoa
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
