Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
