he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
