you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
