did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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