Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
