Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
