ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
