Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
