I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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