So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
