you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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