Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
