Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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