aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
