Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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