I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
