I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize