if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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