Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
